What Are the 5 Top Stressors in Life?

Stress is a normal part of life—but some changes in relationships, finances, school, health, career, and family cause more anxiety than others. Here are the five top stressors in life, along with a few tips to deal with them.

Death of a Loved One

When someone you’re close to passes away, you’ll typically experience a range of sometimes surprising emotions. These might include confusion, shock, sadness, numbness, anger, and even guilt. All of these feelings are valid.

There’s no right or wrong way to feel about a loved one’s death and no standard way to grieve. Healing and its timetable differ from person to person, but these strategies can help.

• Let yourself feel the range of emotions: You may have heard of the five stages of grief; however, research has shown that identifying the phase you’re in is not helpful, especially when you haven’t experienced it before. Instead of worrying about going from one stage of grief to another, allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions and focus on reaching a mental state of peace.2
• Take time to heal: Recovering from the loss can be a long journey. You might want to move on quickly to get back to feeling normal; however, it’s important to take all the time needed to properly care for yourself. Although you may feel isolated, sharing your grief and talking about your feelings with family and friends can be beneficial.3
• Remember that there’s no shame in getting professional help: The death of a loved one can cause overwhelming stress and significantly affect your life. Seeking support such as bereavement therapy can help you work through difficult emotions such as guilt and develop ways to adapt to a life without your loved one.4

Divorce or Separation

Divorce or separation from a spouse can cause major stress. In addition to the emotional and mental stress, there are legal considerations such as child custody, finances, assets, and living situations. Even if the decision to end the relationship is mutual, both partners must deal with a host of issues while they move forward separately. here are a few tips to cope with a divorce or separation:

• Accept your emotions and learn to let go: Ending a relationship can generate many feelings that are difficult to manage. You might feel relief and then guilt about feeling that way. You might feel angry and hopeless. Instead of suppressing these feelings, embrace them and let them move through you like a wave. Accepting them has been shown to help people move forward from their divorces.5
• Focus on loving yourself: You might feel like you’ve failed or that you didn’t try hard enough in your relationship; however, it’s important during this time to practice self-care and self-compassion.
• Set personal goals: Life without a partner can seem scary, but this is an opportunity to reassess your goals. What have you always wanted to try or learn? What hobbies do you love but haven’t had time to explore? It’s time to rediscover these and start enjoying them.
• Join a support group: It can be helpful to connect with others who are divorced or are going through a divorce. A divorce support group can provide tools and camaraderie to help you cope and see you’re not alone.

Moving

Moving can be quite stressful, especially if the move is unexpected or is because of a fire, financial struggles, or a traumatic event. You might even feel anticipatory grief—anxiety at just the thought of such a huge change. Here are a few tips to cope with a move:

• Remember that stress is a normal part of moving: If you’re moving into a bigger place or with your partner, you might feel obligated to be excited and happy, but even moving for a positive reason can be stressful. Change is hard for everyone, and accepting stress as a normal part of it can help you manage the move.
• Plan and stay organized: Give yourself plenty of time to plan your move. It takes longer than you think to label, sort, and pack your belongings. You might dread the process and want to procrastinate, but the earlier you start, the less rushed and frantic you’ll be on moving day.
• Ask for help from friends and family: Even if they don’t physically help during the move, they can provide emotional support.
• Hire professional movers: If you’re financially able, hire professional movers. This can reduce the work and stress related to packing, lifting, and transporting.

Long-Term Illness

Illness and stress have a symbiotic relationship: Chronic stress weakens your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. Stress increases the risk of diabetes mellitus, peptic ulcers, ulcerative colitis, and atherosclerosis.6 Here are some tips to cope with illness.

• Learn about your illness: Talk to a healthcare professional about your illness and design a treatment plan together that meets your needs. Depending on the severity of your illness, it’s important to remain realistic about your expectations.
• Take care of yourself: If you’re able, get enough sleep, maintain a healthy diet, stay physically active, and explore self-care practices such as meditation and mindfulness. Ask for help with difficult tasks. Avoid using alcohol or substances as coping mechanisms.
• Seek counseling: Various counseling options can help you manage your long-term health condition. These include individual counseling, family and couples counseling, and support groups.

Job Loss

Losing your job can cause shame, grief, disappointment, guilt, and self-defeating thoughts. In addition to the negative impact on your self-esteem, you have to worry about your finances and a new job. Your daily routine has changed abruptly, which can be difficult to adapt to—especially if you’ve been at your job for a long time. Here’s how to cope with job loss:

• Don’t ignore your feelings: For some people, losing a job feels like losing a loved one. You might feel shocked, sad, depressed, angry, or any combination thereof—all normal. Feel your feelings instead of bottling them up.
• Learn to accept your situation: Try to focus on the things you can control, such as your reaction, attitude, and forward movement. Losing your income and benefits could mean major lifestyle changes, so take charge of your finances: Make a budget and get help from a financial advisor.
• Reach out to your network: You might feel alone in this, but you aren’t, and you don’t have to deal with this by yourself. Connect with friends and family. Job loss is common; sharing your experiences can help you understand your situation better and learn from others.