We’ve all been in this exact situation. You get invited to an event you’re excited about, the only problem is you have to go alone and you probably won’t know anyone there…oh, and you hate making small talk. Unsurprisingly, a recent survey found that a majority of Americans—a whopping 71%—prefer sitting in silence to small talk with others.1 But in certain situations, like weddings, networking events, parties, and workplace functions, talking to people that you don’t know is hard to avoid. And for some people, that’s awkward. “Going to an event where you don’t know anyone can be an overwhelming and uncomfortable experience. Many of us feel awkward when we are in a situation where we don’t know anyone, and we may also experience social anxiety, worrying about how we are being perceived or judged,” explains Saba Harouni Lurie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Owner and Founder of Take Root Therapy. These feelings are normal, but we still have to figure out how to get past them to make connections with others and have a good time. And it’s easier than you think! Here are some expert-approved tips on navigating these situations, plus several conversation starters to help you break the ice. Living With Social Anxiety Disorder Why It Feels Weird and What to do About It We have conversations all the time with family and friends. And we’re all used to making casual interactions when we’re in a long checkout line or talking to a server at a restaurant. So why is talking to people you don’t know at an event so different? “When confronted with a room full of strangers, you might experience a variety of physical sensations that can be deeply unsettling. These feelings are entirely normal and are your body’s natural response to fear in the face of a perceived threat. Many of these sensations can be linked to the fight, flight or freeze responses,” notes Lurie. Going to an event where you don’t know anyone can be an overwhelming and uncomfortable experience. Many of us feel awkward…and we may also experience social anxiety, worrying about how we are being perceived or judged. — Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT “If a person is uncomfortable about starting a conversation, emotionally they may feel nervous, stressed, insecure, anxious, and afraid. This can manifest with physical signs like blushing, sweating, trembling, muscle tension, rapid heart rate, nausea, headaches, muscle tension, and difficulty speaking,” she adds. While it may not be possible to completely remove the negative feelings you’re experiencing when it comes to small talk conversations, there are strategies you can use to make it easier for you. Make Light of the Situation You know you’re anxious. And you know you’re probably not alone. Why not use it as a way to break the ice? “Try to be open about your anxiety. When we release something negative inside of us, it loses some of its power,” says Sarah Sanders, Mental Health Ambassador, Milton Recovery Center. “Crack a joke about how awkward you actually are and you’ll be amazed at how many people will actually relate to you! You’ll hear sighs of relief from the crowd you didn’t expect.” Help the Host Offering to help at a party or networking event can do a few things. It keeps you busy, allows you to gently mingle with the other guests while you’re working, and may even score you brownie points for being so selfless. Just Say Hi! At the end of the day, no matter how nervous you might be, almost everyone is open to a new person joining the conversation. If it’s just two people clearing in an intense heart to heart on a specific subject it’s better to let them continue on their own. But if it’s a group of 3 or 4 standing around, I promise you no one will think it’s weird if you walk up to them and introduce yourself. Try saying something like “Hi! I’m (your name), I don’t know a ton of people here, can I join you guys?” Odds are they will welcome you into the conversation with enthusiasm. Set Realistic Goals Don’t go in expecting to be the life of the party. But if it’s a networking event, maybe decide you’ll connect with at least two people while you’re there. If it’s a birthday celebration, maybe you can set a goal of sharing at least one fun story about the guest of honor. Perhaps your goal is to spend an hour at the event and interact during that time. Have Some Conversation Starters in Mind Part of your trepidation about the event can be not knowing how to start a conversation. Think of a few topics that interest you, or that you are knowledgeable about. Consider ways you can casually start conversations or integrate these ideas into a discussion. If you’re stuck, read on for several ideas that can help. How to Socialize When You Have Social Anxiety Disorder Getting the Conversation Started When you walk in a room and don’t know anyone in the crowd, here are 50 ways that you can kick start the conversation. Casual Conversation Starters 1. Are you having fun? 2. Are you listening to any good podcasts that you can recommend? 3. Do you play or watch any sports? 4. Have you seen any good movies lately? 5. Have you traveled recently? What’s your favorite place you visited? 6. Hi I’m (your name). What’s your name? 7. How did you find out about this event? (works well if a networking event) 8. How do you know (bride, groom, guest of honor)? 9. How was your week? 10. I’m looking for something new to read. What books do you recommend? 11. What are the best local restaurants in this area? 12. What brings you here? 13. What’s your favorite kind of food? 14. Where are you from? Conversation Starters for Meaningful Conversations 1. Anything new on the horizon for you? 2. Can you name five things on your bucket list? 3. Have you ever thought of an invention that could make your life easier? What was it? 4. How did you get started in your career? 5. How do you de-stress? 6. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you want to go and why? 7. Is there a habit you want to change or work on? 8. Tell me more about yourself. 9. What does an average day look like for you? 10. What is something you’re looking forward to these days? 11. What is the best thing you’ve learned recently? How did it impact you? 12. What kinds of things do you like to do when you’re not at work? 13. What is the perfect gift that someone could give to you? 14. What would you want to pursue if you had the time? 15. What’s one goal you’re working towards? 16. When are you the happiest? 17. Where do you see yourself in five years? 18. Which of your accomplishments are you proudest of? Fun Conversation Starters 1. Are you a cat or a dog person? 2. Comment on the music playing, i.e. “This music takes me back” or “I love 90’s music.” 3. Do you have any pets? Tell me about them! 4. Do you think you would like to be famous? 5. How do you feel about attending events like this? 6. If you could be any superhero, who would you be? 7. If you could create your own superpower, what would it be? 8. If you had a million dollars, what would you buy? 9. Is this as awkward for you as it is for me? 10. Tell me your biggest pet peeve. 11. Tell us your funniest story. 12. Do you play a musical instrument? 13. What song do you wish they’d play next? 14. What’s your favorite dessert? (you could also start by saying, “Am I the only chocolate lover here?”) 15. Where did you get your earrings/belt/outfit/purse? 16. Which do you hate more – being really hot or being really cold? 17. Which holiday do you like the most? 18. Who is your favorite celebrity and why?

We’ve all heard of “Type A” and “Type B” personalities, with both often falling into a number of common stereotypes. But can a person with a Type A personality be in a successful relationship with someone who’s Type B?

Read on to learn more about these two personality types and how they interact in a relationship, the advantages and disadvantages of this kind of relationship, and how best to support your opposite-type partner, whether you are the Type A or the Type B.

Personality Types

Personality types, like Type A and Type B, exist on a spectrum. Very few people are 100% one type—but most people do lean one way or another. In addition, personality types are not necessarily inherent or inherited traits. Types can be learned and developed based on circumstances and experiences, such as having a fast-paced work environment.

So, what are Type A and Type B personalities, anyway?

What Is Type A?

When you hear “Type A,” most people think of perfectionism and obsessiveness, or maybe someone who is “high-maintenance.” But Type A personalities are actually much more than that.

There are certain characteristics of a true Type A personality, including:

• Achievement orientation: Type As are extremely dedicated to their goals and may feel the need to even take extreme measures to achieve them.
• Competitiveness: Type As can be incredibly competitive, with both others and themselves.
• Impatience: Time urgency is a common Type A trait, with a general unwillingness to wait for things longer than the Type A person thinks they should. Everyone should be on their schedule!
• Dominance: A Type A person is more comfortable when they are in charge, and might seek to exert control over any situation.
• Free-floating hostility or aggression: A Type A personality might be quick to react to something in anger, and to a degree that is unwarranted.

What Is Type B?

A “Type B” personality is often considered to be the opposite of a Type A—someone who is generally relaxed and easy-going.

The characteristics of a Type B personality include:

• Flexibility: A Type B is able to easily compromise, and has a “go-with-the-flow” attitude.
• Low stress levels: Type Bs tend to experience less stress overall than their Type A counterparts.
• Adaptability to change: People with Type B personalities have an easier time dealing with changes, either expected or unexpected, than those with Type A personalities.
• Even-temperedness: Type Bs usually experience fewer emotional high highs and low lows than Type A’s.
• Creativity: People with Type B personalities can be especially creative and less married to rigid rules or structures—they can see solutions and ways forward that might function outside of the guidelines within which Type A’s like to operate.
• Tendency towards procrastination: While you’d be hard-pressed to find a Type A who procrastinates, Type B’s tend to worry less about things like deadlines, and don’t feel rushed to complete projects.
• Patience: The flip side of the procrastination coin is that Type B personalities can be very patient (as opposed to the famous impatience of Type A personalities).

Advantages of a Type A/Type B Relationship

While it might seem as though Type A personalities and Type B personalities have some irreconcilable differences, a relationship between a Type A and Type B can actually be very successful.

One of the advantages of being in a Type A/Type B relationship is that you can balance each other out. The B can teach the A how to relax more and let themselves off the hook, which can lead to less stress in A’s life and therefore less stress in the relationship.

On the other hand, the A can teach the B the benefits of hard work and goal orientation, and support them with concepts (and actions) like motivation and achievement. This can also both enrich the B’s professional and personal life and support more positivity in the relationship. (This is not to say that Type As can never relax and Type Bs never work hard. Far from it! Remember, these traits exist on a spectrum.)

Additionally, the B is unlikely to step on the A’s toes when it comes to planning or taking charge of situations. This can make it easier to delegate responsibilities within the relationship because each person leans a different way—the A gets to do what they like and are best at (like planning), leaving the B to take care of other things (like creative problem-solving).

It is also likely that arguments between a Type A personality and a Type B personality will have less intensity and be resolved more quickly because the A doesn’t have another stubborn A to contend with.

Similarly, the B in the relationship can more readily adapt to the A’s needs, such as giving them alone time when they need it, because B’s are usually less rigid and need less structure than their A partners.

An openness to change can facilitate better communication within the relationship because the Type A doesn’t have to fear pushback from their Type B partner and can allow the A to openly express their feelings (and vice versa, if the A takes a page out of B’s book!).

Disadvantages of a Type A/Type B Relationship

Just like in any relationship, there can be challenges in a Type A/Type B partnership.

The Type A might steamroll the Type B, or B might feel like they’re being steamrolled. The assertiveness, competitiveness, and need for dominance that a Type A exhibits can make the B feel as though they can’t express themselves. B might not be sure how to advocate for themselves in the relationship, especially if they feel as though they can’t talk with their Type A partner about what they need. This can lead to built-up resentment and conflict down the road.

This might be difficult for the B, especially if it does not naturally occur to them that they should adopt this work ethic; and their inability to “step up to the plate” in the eyes of the A can leave the A feeling unsupported and unappreciated.

On a related note, in a Type A/Type B relationship, there might be a fundamental misunderstanding of how the other person operates. If each partner expects certain things from the other but assumes that because they themselves function one way, their partner will function in the same way, this can lead to conflict and resentment—especially if each person does not clearly communicate what they need.

A Type B’s laidback nature and lack of focus can get on a Type A’s nerves, whereas an A’s insistence that things should be exactly the way they want them to be can bother a B. While these kinds of discrepancies can afflict any relationship, the marked differences between Type As and Type Bs can be especially disruptive.

The differences in interests and priorities can also cause difficulties in a Type A/Type B relationship, explains Yolanda Renteria, LMFT. Specifically, look out for “the conflict that arises when partners try to force the other to be more like them, or the distance that can be created between them if their life goals and interests are completely different.”

Strategies for Navigating a Type A/Type B Relationship

Navigating a Type A/Type B relationship comes down to communication and understanding.

“Just like any relationship, communicate what you need to your partner,” says Marschall. “Get on the same page, and be clear. Also remember that it’s ok that you have different needs, and both sides can compromise to find a middle ground.”

If You’re Type A

If you’re the Type A, it’s important to accept that your partner might not be as motivated or assertive as you are—and that’s ok! People are different, and those differences can complement each other when you learn to stop expecting your partner to do things and feel things exactly the same way you do.

“Try to see your partner’s differences as strengths instead of as personality flaws,” says Renteria. “For example, type A partners can see their partner’s calmness as a resource they can lean into.”

For example, if it’s not their first inclination to help you with things like planning and goals for the household or relationship, tell them exactly what gestures and actions you need from them. If you are expecting them to help you plan a trip but never tell them that that’s what you want from them—especially if they’re not the “planning” type—how are they supposed to know?

At the same time, try not to project your ambitions and needs onto your Type B partner. Just because they might tend to procrastinate or approach things with less of a go-getter attitude does not mean that they won’t achieve their goals or get things done that they need to do. Remember that they just have a different way of doing things.

If You’re Type B

If you’re Type B, accept that your Type A partner might not be as laid-back or able to compromise as you are. You two have different skills and different approaches to both problems and achievements, and acknowledging that can help you understand your partner better and not expect things from them of which they are not capable.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs or doing something that’s not good for you; instead, it means you might have to make an effort to do something for your partner that’s a little out of your comfort zone, like helping them plan your vacation or being proactive about things like chores.

Talking about what they are working towards can help you as a Type B realize what they are trying so hard to accomplish. This can help you accept and even support your partner as they reach for those achievements—even if they are achievements you wouldn’t normally care about.

“Type B partners can view their partner’s driven personality as an invitation to challenge themselves to grow,” explains Renteria. So instead of seeing your Type A partner’s intense motivation as something intimidating or unreasonable, try looking at it as a possibility to improve your own life as well.