How Parents Can Deal With the Stress of Their Kids Going Back to School

As the slower and relaxed pace of summer vacation comes to an end, parents and their kids are getting ready to go back to school. Shifts in new routines and schedules can disrupt family dynamics and patterns that were established during the summer months. From financial and academic concerns to separation anxiety, this transition can be a significant source of stress for parents and kids.

Each family is unique and experiences individual stressors. For instance, one parent may not feel the same about changes in routine compared to another. This article explores how parents can manage the stress of their kids going back to school.

Prioritizing Self-Care

During this transition, it’s important to have compassion for yourself, attend to your own needs, and prioritize self-care. When parents feel stressed, their children feel it too, which can negatively affect their behavior.1

There are many ways parents can prioritize their emotional and physical well-being. “This can include setting aside time for activities they enjoy, such as exercise, reading, or spending time with friends,” advises Kenzi Locks, creator of Growforth Family Building, licensed clinical social worker, health and wellness coach, and family building expert.

Parents can embed various relaxation techniques that can help reduce stress, like deep breathing exercises or meditation. These do not have to take a long time to do and can be integrated throughout your day. For instance, you can try chore meditation, mindful walking, or meditation during transitions.

Communication and Support

Managing multiple responsibilities, such as attending school-related events, packing lunches, and organizing drop-offs and pick-ups, can contribute to parental stress during this time.

Financial strain can put pressure on families. Parents may need to adjust their work hours, pay for extracurricular activities, after-school care, and purchase school supplies and/or uniforms, impacting their family’s financial situation.

Parents may experience anxiety about their child’s social interactions. For instance, they may worry about how their children are fitting in with their friends and peers. Bullying is more common in later elementary and middle school years.

“[Bullying] is often a bigger worry if the child themself, their older siblings, or even the parent has struggled with fitting in or bullies in the past,” adds Locks.

For example, you can schedule a weekly family check-in. This dedicated time allows parents and kids to have the opportunity to talk about what’s been going on, brainstorm ways to help each other, offer support or seek help from a professional.

It’s important that you know you are not alone in what you are going through. There are other parents going through a similar experience; sharing your issues together can help you feel validated and less alone with a sense of community. Talking to a professional counselor can also help you gain perspective and learn effective ways to cope.

Locks explains, “Seeking social support through talking to trusted friends, joining support groups, or seeking professional counseling can provide an outlet for parents to process their emotions and receive guidance.”

Creating a Structured Routine

Establishing a consistent daily routine can benefit children and parents while adjusting to the school schedule.

“Time management techniques such as prioritizing tasks, delegating responsibilities, and establishing a structured routine can help parents feel more in control and reduce stress,” explains Locks.

Some tips can include:

• Simplify meal planning. Cook large batches of freezable soups, stews, and pasta dishes. These can be easy to reheat and serve on busy nights. Be flexible about what dinners and lunches look like. A grilled cheese sandwich, cut-up fruit and veggies, hummus and pitas can be quick, easy, and nutritious meals.
• Create a family calendar. Manage your time effectively by creating a family calendar. Share household responsibilities by assigning age-appropriate chores to everyone in the family.
• Optimize your evenings. Adopt a routine that sets the kids up for the morning. For instance, have them pick out their outfits before brushing their teeth. Put everything they need for school, such as library books, homework, permission slips, or show-and-tell items in their backpacks after dinner.

Managing Expectations and Pressure

Parents want the best for their children. They want them to grow up and become happy, healthy, and well-adjusted individuals. Some parents view academic performance as an indicator of future success. This belief can put pressure and create school-based anxiety for children, making them feel their self-worth is tied to their grades.

It’s common for parents to worry about their child’s grades and wonder if they need additional support. However, Locks advises parents to remember that the success of a child’s future isn’t solely determined by grades and test-taking ability but also encompasses personal growth, character development, and emotional well-being. Locks explains that the key to setting realistic and healthy expectations for children is to have a balanced approach.

Locks emphasizes that every child’s abilities are unique. While some can naturally finish school work on time and ace tests easily, others may struggle. It’s important to avoid comparing children to their siblings or to other children in the family’s life.

“Encouraging a love for learning, emphasizing effort over outcome, and celebrating small achievements can help foster a healthy approach to academic expectations,” adds Locks.

Building Resilience and Coping Strategies

Transition periods can be overwhelming for parents; building resilience and adopting effective coping strategies can make a significant difference in navigating the challenges of the back-to-school period.

Locks shares that it’s helpful for parents to practice stress reduction techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or engaging in activities that promote relaxation. It’s been shown that parents who practice mindfulness in their parenting and in relationships can improve child outcomes, family health, and well-being.3

Back-to-school stress can impact the dynamic between couples. The added anxiety can make partners feel on edge and resentful, blaming each other for problems instead of tackling them together as a team. “For couples, it’s paramount to have open communication about your changing needs during this transitional time,” advises Locks.

Locks shares that having compassion for yourself and your child, practicing gratitude, embracing flexibility, and reframing negative thoughts with a positive outlook can help parents navigate the stressful back-to-school transition more effectively.

Ultimately, adjusting during the back-to-school period isn’t easy for any family. However, it is possible to deal with stress while supporting your children during this transition by adopting helpful coping mechanisms, using effective time management tools, establishing lines of open communication in the family, and prioritizing self-care practices.