People with ADHD face unique challenges as they go about their days. Some of this is because the world isn’t designed for our brains, and some because our brains are simply wired to overlook certain things.
As a psychologist who treats ADHD, my clients are often frustrated with standard tips, tricks, and “life hacks” for managing their executive dysfunction and other difficulties. So many of these hacks are written by people who do not have ADHD, and they don’t take into account how ADHD brains work.
As a psychologist who has ADHD, though, I have found several tools that make my life easier, and I am sharing my favorites with you today.
Please know that every brain is unique, and two people with ADHD may still have completely different traits, strengths, difficulties, and support needs.
Some of the things I found helpful might not work for you, and something that helps you might not work for me–and that’s okay! You can try out different strategies and see what works best for you.
Practice Self-Compassion
When I sat down to write this article, I tapped my networks to see what my peers with ADHD find helpful. Several people shared some great ideas, but I noticed that many people said, “This is probably a bad tip, but…” or “You might think this is stupid, but…”
Many people with ADHD struggle with self-esteem, especially those who do not receive adequate treatment and support.1 This is due in part to the fact that our brains do not function in the way that neurotypical society expects. We often feel like we are not good enough, called “lazy” for having difficulties, and are forced to mask to conform to those neurotypical standards.
If something works for you, use it! If the people in your life do not respect your needs or tear you down when you are struggling, reconsider whether or not those people deserve access to you.
If something works for you, use it! If the people in your life do not respect your needs or tear you down when you are struggling, reconsider whether or not those people deserve access to you.
Self-compassion takes practice, and it can take a long time to silence your inner critic, but you are wonderful the way you are, and you deserve to be treated with kindness, including treating yourself with kindness.
It is difficult to feel good about yourself and have high self-esteem when your thoughts are being mean to you. Self-compassion leads to self-kindness, which boosts self-esteem.
You Don’t Have to Finish What You Start
Many people with ADHD struggle with starting tasks because the task feels too big even to bother trying.
Give yourself permission to do something only part-way.
For example, does the pile of dishes in the sink seem impossible to conquer? You don’t have to wash all of them; just clean one plate and then move on to something else.
When you approach a task with the intention of starting but not finishing it, one of two things will happen: You will do a small portion of that task and then stop, and the next time you encounter the task, it will be slightly smaller and more manageable; or you will find that, once you have started, you have the motivation to continue.
Maybe you wash one plate and walk away, and the next time you come into your kitchen, there is one less dish waiting for you to clean it. Or maybe you wash one plate and realize that you have the energy to also wash one mug, and maybe another mug, and maybe a few spoons. The next thing you know, you have done half of the task, or maybe even all of it!
Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Half-Assing
Sometimes, we don’t have the option to leave a task unfinished, but the task still needs to be done. Many people with ADHD also struggle with perfectionism and might avoid starting a task if we know we will fall short of our standards.
In cases where a poorly done task is preferable to an incomplete one, I tell myself that it is okay to produce an inferior result and get out of my own way. For example, you might not have the energy to neatly fold and put your laundry away, but you can put unfolded clothes in your dresser so they are out of your way and stay clean until you are ready to wear them. If you cannot muster the executive functioning to complete your entire hygiene routine, just brush your teeth.
Doing part of a task, or doing a task poorly, is better than leaving it undone.
It Goes Where You Put It
One of the ways my executive dysfunction manifests is in misplacing important items. If I had a dollar for every time I asked, “Where did I put that?” I would have a lot of dollars, all of which I would probably misplace.
Notice where you tend to find items that you lose a lot. Your brain may already have a pattern that you are not aware of. For example, I used to frequently find my lost keys on my kitchen table. Why did I put my keys on the kitchen table? It makes so much more sense to keep them on the hook by the door. For whatever reason, my brain would have me put them on the table instead. As soon as I simply decided that my keys go on the kitchen table, I stopped losing them.
This works for organization as well. If you want to put your laundry in the basket, keep the laundry basket on the spot on the floor where your clothes tend to end up.
Use Body Doubles and Accountability Buddies
Body doubling refers to having another person present while you complete a task. While research supporting the effectiveness of body doubling is limited, many people with ADHD report that simply having someone else around who knows what they are supposed to be doing increases motivation for the task.2
Having another person come to where you are in person is not always feasible, but body doubling can also work virtually. I often tweet what I intend to work on, and knowing that my followers are aware that I have to finish a task helps keep me going. It even worked as I was writing this article!
You can simply message a friend and have them act as your virtual body double. If you know this is a resource you will use frequently, you can join a social media group and make a post whenever you need support with a task. Additionally, companies like Focusmate pair you with another individual while you both complete tasks.
Put It in Your Shoe
Since ADHD brains often forget about things that are not right in front of us (and sometimes they forget things that are right in front of us), I often realize halfway to my destination that I forgot The Thing I needed to bring with me. When I am getting ready, as soon as I think of The Thing I need, I put it on or in the shoes I plan to wear. That way, it is impossible for me to leave my house without encountering it.
Keep It Where You Can See It
Again, ADHD brains struggle to remember the things that are not right in front of our eyes. This concept references ADHD difficulty with object permanence.
We often forget where we put things or forget that we need to complete a task without a prominent reminder. If an item is important, I store it either on an open shelf or in a clear tub so that I always have a visual of its location.
Make It Searchable
There are so many important pieces of information to remember, and when you struggle with bothmemory and organization, it feels impossible to keep track of everything. I used to use Post Its and the Notes app on my phone, but I quickly became overwhelmed and could not keep track of all my notes to myself.
I keep a folder in my Google Drive and create a file with each piece of information. Some files include step-by-step instructions for a task, and others contain maybe a one-sentence reminder. When I need information, I search my drive for keywords. The appropriate file comes up with what I need.