Although it’s not usually a good idea to compare your sex life to what sex statistics say about others, it can be interesting to look at how often other couples have sex. For example, sometimes people believe they’re having less sex than their peers, but scientific study or survey results might prove them wrong.
Other stats can offer insight on married couples’ sexual satisfaction, as well as relationship satisfaction and how it’s related to sex.
This article discusses how often married couples have sex. It also covers how sex frequency is related to relationship satisfaction and communication.
How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?
Americans in their 20s (whether partnered or not) have sex about 80 times a year, or more than once per week, says a 2017 study.1
Although the frequency of sex is associated with happiness, partnered couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those having sex weekly, according to an analysis of three research studies of more than 30,000 people.2
Having sex once a week might be the ideal, according to science. But the real ideal is what works for you and your partner.
Recap
Research suggests that the average adult in their 20s has sex around 80 times a year, but there is no “ideal” amount of sex. What matters is whether you and your partner are happy with the quantity and quality of sex.
Married Sex and Satisfaction
Satisfaction and interpersonal warmth matter more in a marriage than the frequency of intercourse, according to sex researchers. And there is a strong connection between sex, well-being, affection, and positive affect (or mood), according to research published in 2017.3
Mutual respect is also important; when partners feel respected, they also report being sexually satisfied. In terms of how their sex life could be improved, people say they’re looking for more love and romance, more quality time alone with their partner, more fun, and less stress.
Married Sex and Communication
Couples also say they could have better communication with their partner. The answer to “what should we do to make our sex life better/have sex more often/make sex more satisfying” often begins with talking.
One study, published in 2019, tied better sexual communication with greater sexual satisfaction—and even fewer faked orgasms.4 “Women who continued to fake orgasms were more likely to indicate embarrassment talking about sex with their partner in explicit ways,” the study’s authors said.
“More than half of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings, not feeling comfortable going into detail, and embarrassment,” the study continued.
Recap
Many factors can affect the quality and frequency of sex, but many couples report that communication plays a pivotal role. Couples that communicate well may be more likely to have better sex more frequently.
When You’re Out of Sync
If you’re happy with the frequency of sex in your marriage, you’re having the right amount of sex for you. If you or your partner are not, there are plenty of things you can do.
A Word From Verywell
Though interesting, what statistics say about other peoples’ sex lives is usually not relevant to your own. What matters is how you and partner feel about your relationship and sex life—and how well you can discuss it with each other.
Communication is key. Depending on the underlying issues and emotions you and your partner are experiencing, you might benefit from working with a personal therapist, a couple’s counselor, or a sex therapist.