Other studies put the rates of young adults having casual sex at greater than 70%.4 The number of prior sexual partners, level of completed education, alcohol and drug use, and attitude affected the number of casual sex experiences. For example, those pursuing college degrees engaged in casual sex less often than those who didn’t finish high school.9
Lyons HA, Manning WD, Longmore MA, Giordano PC. Gender and casual sexual activity from adolescence to emerging adulthood: social and life course correlates. J Sex Res. 2015;52(5):543-557. doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.906032
In addition to reducing stigma about non-committed sex, dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, OkCupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel have given people many options for dating and casual sex.
Another review found that religious belief, high self-esteem, and having married parents decreased the likelihood of the behavior, but that factors such as race, socioeconomic status, depression, and being in a romantic relationship did not affect rates of casual sex.10
Is Casual Sex Right for You?
Depending on the person, casual sex may feel like a gift, necessary pleasure, happy indulgence, minor regret, or a deep shame. Whether you pursue casual sex is a personal choice that is heavily dependent on your life experiences, beliefs, and relationship status as well as how you feel about casual sex itself—and your prospective partner.
Ultimately, the important thing to know is that there is no right or wrong answer, just what feels best for you. It can help to have an understanding of what the difference or overlap between sex and love is for you—and whether or not you want (or can) keep them separate.
Assess Your Feelings
You might discover how you feel about hookups through trial and error, but even better: Think about what you want and believe regarding your sexuality and sexual activities to really know on a deep level what is best for you.
A good indication that casual sex might be something you’d like is if you feel more excitement and empowerment rather than shame or guilt when thinking of it.
Consent Is Vital
Taking proper consent and safe sex precautions is also imperative.
The type of casual sex you are considering may also impact your enjoyment and comfort level with it as well. For example, anonymous sex might feel hot or lonely—or dirty, in a bad way. Hooking up with an ex or close friend might feel comfortable and safe or boring—or naughty, in a good way. It’s vital to think about consent, too.
For casual sex to be a positive experience, you want to be sure that you are doing what you want to do and aren’t feeling pressured (or forced) to engage in anything you don’t.
Consider the Impact
Alternatively, sleeping with a platonic friend might get awkward, especially if one of you ends up with romantic feelings that the other doesn’t reciprocate, and sex with a former flame may open a can of worms you’d rather keep shut. Also, if casual sex feels in opposition to your moral beliefs then you may have trouble enjoying it, although you might also discover that your beliefs on uncommitted sex bend as you evolve as a person and as a sexual being.
Think About What You Want
The key is honestly assessing how you really feel about the idea of casual sex and what you are truly hoping to get out of the experience. Casual sex might be right for those who want to experience an array of sexual behaviors and relationships before deciding to commit to a monogamous relationship. You may want to explore your own sexuality and desires and might feel more comfortable doing so in a casual setting. If you simply enjoy hookups (or want to), then go ahead and enjoy.
Some people’s sexuality is tied tighter to intimate relationships than others who are more comfortable separating their sexual needs and desires from being in love and/or a relationship—and either way of being can be healthy and something to celebrate.
Takeaways
Casual sex can be a wonderful thing or it can make you feel guilty, empty, or unsatisfied. You’ll know if it’s emotionally healthy for you if it makes you feel good and good about yourself. If not, you might not be in the right frame of mind to enjoy the experience. Know that everyone is at a different place, which will likely change over time, and that’s OK. There’s no right or wrong here, just what kind of sexual life you want to live.
While some might leave a carnal encounter feeling depressed, embarrassed, or sad, another may emerge more confident, at peace, fulfilled, or elated. If you’re in the latter camp, you may want to work through feelings of shame or longing—or you might want to stick to sex inside romantic relationships.
Ultimately, define for yourself how causal sex (and what kind) fits or doesn’t fit in with your life, values, goals, and sexual journey.