Astrology is fun, there’s no denying it. Despite it not being based on science, it can be an interesting lens to help us reflect on our personalities and how we might relate to one another. Just make sure you’re taking it with a grain of salt. This is especially important when it comes to considerations of relationship compatibility.
The moon phase compatibility test has been a popular trend on TikTok over the past year. This trend claims to be able to show people if their partner is their soulmate by comparing what the phases of the Moon looked like on the day they were born.
As with most viral trends, it is difficult to confirm who started the trend and why. However, what we do know is that this trend first began with people comparing the Moon phases between friends, family, and even exes. Since then, its popularity has grown through the search for soulmate compatibility.
How Does the Moon Supposedly Affect Compatibility?
To partake in this trend, individuals will need to find out both their and their significant other’s moon phases — which can be done by inputting a birthday into a Moon phase or birth chart calculator. From here a video using a CapCut template is made from the two corresponding images. And if the two phases slot together to create a full Moon, it means that they are a match.
As for the reasons why this trend is popular, it may be easy to claim that it’s the promise of a soulmate alone that is enticing to the masses. However, it seems that the simple nature of it, and its interactivity is also a big reason for its draw.
While a lunar connection can be an entertaining find, it doesn’t encompass the many factors that determine a healthy, lasting relationship.
“TikTok has a knack for making trends go viral quickly. Its short video format and powerful algorithm expose users to new ideas repeatedly, embedding them in popular culture,” says Joanne Jones, a Spiritualist Psychic from Trusted Psychics with over 30 years of experience in the industry.
In addition to this, the moon phase compatibility test combines the age-old human curiosity about the moon and its influence with modern-day relationship queries.
The Relationship Between Human Civilization and The Moon
Throughout the entirety of human civilization the moon has been used to shape the course of life on Earth and in some cultures has been seen as divine.
For example, it’s theorized that early human beings used the moon as a reliable marker of time and also as a calendar.1 The moon has also been speculated as being utilized for the modulation of sleep before the invention of artificial light.2
When it comes to love, relationships, and the self, the Moon has also been utilized as a tool for the synchronization of human reproductive behavior.3 And as a means for furthering human understanding of the world around us.
“In a time when people seek meaningful connections, the idea that the moon might offer clues about love is captivating. The moon phase compatibility test is both a reflection of our desire to understand love and the power of TikTok to amplify intriguing ideas,” Jones adds. Thus, we can see that this viral phenomenon is also an example of “old wine in new bottles”.
Should You Use the Moon Phase Compatibility Test to Figure Out Your Love Life?
While the Moon and its phases have been used throughout history by human beings, it’s important to note that there is no empirical evidence that indicates that it can be used for relationship compatibility. Therefore, having people base their compatibility with a romantic partner on the idea that the moon can decipher whether you are soulmates is very problematic.
“This trend is not evidence-based; meaning, there’s no research behind it. It’s also problematic because it involves a type of magical thinking that is very similar to delusions of grandeur,” says Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder & director at Bay Area CBT Center.
Furthermore, this trend also pushes for the idea of “soulmates” and “twin flames”, which as concepts has been deemed risky as they can be used to justify unhealthy patterns. But why?
“This idea of twin flames or soulmates tries to sell the notion that we should feel like we are in the honeymoon stage of a relationship for our entire lives, and that is not true; it’s not accurate, and it distorts the idea of what actual intimacy is,” Lev notes. “This may lead people to end relationships prematurely and not commit to doing the hard work needed for a healthy, long-term relationship.”
A long-term healthy relationship doesn’t feel like twin flames or soulmates; it feels like an ordinary relationship, like a friendship with someone you have sex with.
Why You Should Be Wary of Online Relationship Tests
“Young people might easily believe in online compatibility tests because they’re often curious, looking for guidance in relationships, and influenced by social media and peers. They might also find these tests fun and entertaining or be looking for reassurance in their relationships,” says Chris Pleines, founder & dating expert at Datingscout.
That said, while these tests may be an entertaining activity to pass the time, they shouldn’t be taken as gospel. “Even though love is an abstract concept, it’s still significant and shouldn’t be taken lightly or based solely on online compatibility tests. Relying on online compatibility tests for love can lead to misunderstandings or even make you vulnerable to scams and other deceptions,” he adds.
Furthermore, there have been many astrologers, and spiritualists who have also spoken out and urged individuals to approach this trend with caution as it is harmful and not in alignment with their practise either. Others have advised individuals away from relying on online compatibility tests as they can lead to misunderstandings or make people vulnerable to scams and other deceptions.
“It’s important to approach such trends with a degree of skepticism. Real-world relationships require communication, mutual respect, and understanding,” says Jones.
Therapist-Approved Tips to Tell If You and Your Partner Are Compatible
It’s safe to say that everyone who is looking for a relationship is looking for a healthy, fulfilling one. That said, dating is notoriously difficult to navigate for most people, and as a result trends like these can attract a whole host of people just looking for simple ways to garner connection.
However, relationship compatibility is a little too complex to gamify through the moon. Therefore, people must take their time finding those they wish to share their lives with.
Professional therapists often provide personalized solutions based on the unique circumstances and needs of the people or couple in question. In addition, it could be beneficial for people to look into attachment theory as a means to discuss and understand each other’s attachment styles and the insight this brings into the dynamic.
“Also, consider the family dynamics and backgrounds of each partner. Differences in upbringing and traditions may lead to conflicts. Understanding and respecting each other’s family values and dynamics is essential for relationship compatibility,” he adds.
That said, there are some general tips that Pleines believes can serve as general guidelines:
- Practice open and honest communication: Partners who can talk about their feelings, needs, and desires are more likely to have a strong, healthy relationship. If you find it difficult to have candid conversations with your partner, it may be a sign of incompatibility.
- Discuss and compare common values: It’s recommended to discuss your values early on in a relationship because differences in fundamental values can lead to conflicts down the line. If you and your partner have aligned values, you are more likely compatible, and your relationship is more likely to last.
- Reflect on how you both handle disagreements and work on your conflict resolution: If you’re able to discuss issues respectfully and find common ground, it’s a positive sign. Aside from conflict resolution, your and your partner’s ability to adapt to change is another key indicator of compatibility. If both of you are willing to be flexible to each other’s needs during new situations, you are more likely to be compatible.
- Consider your and your partner’s physical chemistry: Though it’s not the main component of a romantic relationship, it is still ideal that both of you feel comfortable expressing physical affection.
- Spend enough quality time to determine whether you are compatible with each other: Are you enjoying similar activities? If you have shared interests and enjoy spending time together, it’s another sign of compatibility.
- Trust your instincts: Your gut instinct can offer valuable insights into your relationship compatibility. Always trust your feelings and intuition when assessing your compatibility.
When two people are working together to truly know each other, connect, understand, and meet each other’s underlying needs, that doesn’t feel magical; it feels like hard work.