What Is Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome?

Also called relationship PTSD, post traumatic relationship syndrome (with the acronym PTRS) is the occurrence of being impacted by the trauma of a relationship. It differs from standard PTSD in that PTRS happens exclusively in relationships over a series of events.

PTRS can occur in relationships or after the relationship has ended, and abuse can place at any time, even if it’s not frequent or chronic.

For example, a breakup in which a partner who has not previously behaved harmfully but acts in a manner that is emotionally, verbally, sexually, or physically abusive during the breakup, can cause PTRS. Though it is not a formal mental health diagnosis, research on the subject identifies it as a real disorder.1

PTRS vs PTSD: Understanding the Difference

Considered a subset of PTSD, PTRS has some fundamental similarities with PTSD. Mostly, it is the fact that a traumatic event has left you in a state of hyper-vigilance, restlessness, and persistent distress.

Traumatic events naturally take time to process and many times require professional intervention. It’s common for people to experience intrusive thoughts and unstable mood while they are in their healing process. In that respect, PTSD and PTRS are similar. However, there are other key differences between the two:

• PTSD is a single event that creates trauma; PTRS is usually a series of events.
• PTRS happens exclusively in relationships.
• Numbing is not present in PTRS, while it may be in PTSD.
• People with PTSD tend to use avoidance strategies to cope. That means they suppress thoughts and feelings, and avoid situations that remind them of the event they are traumatized by.
• On the other hand, studies have not found that to be the case for PTRS. People with PTRS are more likely to confront the source of their trauma and deal with it, versus avoiding new relationships.2

The History of PTRS

Though post-traumatic stress disorder is a formal diagnosis, post traumatic relationship syndrome is not. It’s considered by experts to be a very specific version of PTSD, and it has been studied for about twenty years now. When a person presents with PTRS, they are generally diagnosed by a mental health professional with PTSD, because that is the formal diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic Manual.

Mental health professionals believe that for PTRS to occur, abuse has to have taken place in a relational context, the abuse could have taken place throughout the relationship, or at any point during the relationship or breakup.

Symptoms of Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome

These are some of the most common PTRS symptoms:

• Sexual disfunction or lower libido
• Insomnia
• Blaming yourself for the abuse
• Feeling generally unsafe
• Anxiety and/or panic attacks
• Feeling on edge or irritable
• Distrust of other people
• Sadness or depression
• Flashbacks to traumatic events in the relationship
• Uncontrollable anger towards the abuser
• Fear of future abuse

How to Get Help for PTRS

As with any mental health issue, there is help available for PTRS. Although some people can learn to manage PTRS on their own, therapy with a trauma-trained professional is highly encouraged to help them process the event/events. If symptoms are severe and interfering with daily functioning, a visit to a psychiatrist would be recommended for symptom management.

Therapy

Though any type of therapy can be helpful for a person who has gone through a traumatic relationship, the best choice you can make in looking for help to recover from PTRS is to work with someone who understands trauma and relationships. This means that a trauma therapist is a good choice, especially if they also specialize in relationships. Somatic therapies like EMDR, somatic experiencing, IFS, sensorimotor psychotherapy, and EFT are some of the modalities that may be employed.

Psychotropic Medication

For those who are struggling with symptoms of PTRS, visiting a PCP or psychiatrist for symptom management can be beneficial.

Emotion-Focused Coping

Emotion-focused coping strategies can reduce stress and help you feel better by lowering your emotional response to your stressors—in this case, thoughts, feelings, and reminders of a traumatic relationship.3 These are some strategies to help you manage symptoms of PTRS:

• Journaling
• Mindfulness meditation
• Forgiveness
• Sharing with others
• Radical acceptance
• Movement/physical activity
• Working on nervous system regulation (grounding exercises, etc)
• Bibliotherapy: reading books that help you understand/manage symptom

Moving on

If you’re in the throes of PTRS, it may seem impossible to believe that you’ll ever have a healthy relationship again. But people tend to feel more hopeful after processing trauma and managing symptoms.

There is no specific timeline for recovery from PTRS but most people report improvement in symptoms between six months and a year after receiving the right support. Although recovering from trauma is challenging, most people report higher satisfaction when they treat their symptoms. The work may be tough, but it’s worthwhile, and it will set you up to be in more positive and healthy relationships in the future.