Finding a psychiatrist can be tricky. Most don’t accept insurance, and there are often long waiting lists that mean you can’t get an appointment for weeks or even months. So, when you do find a psychiatrist, it’s understandable that you might not be willing to let them go.
However, what’s more important than having a psychiatrist is having the right psychiatrist. As both a licensed therapist and a patient, I’ve identified a few red flags that you should address with your psychiatrist should they arise.
If your psychiatrist is not willing or able to work with you to resolve any of these issues, that might mean there’s a better provider out there for you than the one you’ve got.
Red Flag #1: Nothing Is Changing
When working with a psychiatrist, either your symptoms should be changing or your medication should be changing. So, if you are still experiencing symptoms but your psychiatrist is not working with you to find the correct medication that will alleviate those symptoms, it might be time to move on.
This is especially important if your psychiatrist is telling you that where you are right now is the best it’s ever going to be for you. This happened to me—I worked with a psychiatrist for years who accepted my symptoms as inevitable, and tried to convince me of the same. And I believed him.
That led to years of suffering with symptoms that were resolved in just a few months once I switched to a psychiatrist who truly believed that I could get better.
So, if you are still symptomatic but your psychiatrist is not working with you to change that, look for someone new.
Red Flag #2: Your Psychiatrist Is Focusing on the Wrong Things
I once worked with a psychiatrist who was more concerned about the weight I was gaining than how the medication he prescribed to me was affecting my symptoms. He would start every session by declaring, “Wow, you’ve gained more weight!”
Not only did this make me feel bad about myself, but it didn’t do me any good psychiatrically—we were focusing on one side effect of the medication but not on what the medication was supposed to be doing. And strangely, even though he noticed that particular side effect, it didn’t change his mind about whether I should have been on that medication.
Which leads us to another red flag…
Red Flag #3: Your Psychiatrist Is Not Taking Your Side Effects Seriously
Psychiatric medication can come with a long list of potential side effects, ranging from the mildly annoying to the truly unbearable. And if you are experiencing a side effect or side effects that are making you uncomfortable, you should absolutely ask to switch medications—and your psychiatrist should respect that decision.
If they do not—if they try to convince you that what you’re experiencing is not so bad or that you won’t feel any better on anything else without actually trying anything else—that’s a sign that you might need to work with someone else.
In my own personal medication journey, I was always “the 1%”—that is, the 1% of people who will experience much more serious side effects of any given psychotropic medication. If it was a possibility, you could be sure it would happen to me.
I learned very quickly to speak up for myself, and fought tooth and nail for years until I finally found a psychiatrist who did not question my experiences and was immediately attentive to what was happening to me. You deserve someone who will do the same.
Red Flag #4: You Only Ever Talk About Medication
To get a full understanding of your mental health, sessions with your psychiatrist should not solely focus on your medication. There are lots of factors that affect your mental health—your social life, your living situation, relationships, family, work, even the weather or the time of year. If your psychiatrist never asks you what’s going on in your life, they can’t possibly get the entire picture of you and your symptoms.
While a session with your psychiatrist doesn’t necessarily have to be like a typical therapy session (although that’s ideal), your psychiatrist should absolutely ask about other aspects of your life that might be affecting you. This helps them make more informed decisions about your care.
If your psychiatrist doesn’t seem interested in this, it might be time to look for another provider.
Red Flag #5: Your Psychiatrist Asks You (or Tells You) to Do Something That Makes You Uncomfortable
There’s a fine line between an imposition and an unethical act, but if your psychiatrist makes a suggestion or demands something from you that feels wrong, listen to that feeling. A few examples that have happened to me:
- Your psychiatrist insists that you try a medication that they have been paid or otherwise rewarded to promote. (This might come in the form of “free samples”—be wary of this.)
- Your psychiatrist asks you to write them a positive review online. This is flat-out unethical. (What made matters worse was that mine told me the positive review was to counteract some negative reviews that former patients had written to “get back at him.” Hello, giant red flag.)
Your psychiatrist should never make you feel uncomfortable, and you don’t owe them anything—after all, they work for you. Don’t feel guilty about looking elsewhere if something like this happens to you.
Which brings us to…
Red Flag #6: Your Psychiatrist Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
No matter who you are or what mental health conditions you are dealing with, your psychiatrist should treat you with respect. Although this may seem obvious, no psychiatrist should talk down to you, insult you, or make you feel in any way “less than.” You are a human being seeking help—no different than someone going to a doctor for a physical ailment—and you should be treated as such.
One particular moment in my own experience illustrates this point. My long-time psychiatrist, out of nowhere, once said to me, “Imagine what you could do if you weren’t so sick.”
This crushed me. It made me feel as though I was a hopeless case who could never amount to anything.
And I’m sorry to say, this didn’t end my relationship with him. Learn from my mistake and never accept any abuse, insult, or disrespect from your psychiatrist.
Final Thoughts
Your psychiatrist should always be open to feedback and want to improve your relationship and your work together. Talking through issues like these can be empowering, especially if it leads to change. However, if you bring up your concerns and they are ignored, that’s a bad sign.
You don’t need to have experienced all six of these red flags to dump your psychiatrist—just one is enough. Remember that you are paying your psychiatrist to provide a service, and if that service is not helping you, you can and should look elsewhere.